Death jokes

What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.

I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To find their parents.

Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣

What happened when the man died? Yes.

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.

Orphans: Where are my parents?

Random person: In the bed.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no balls to do it.

What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.

He shouts “you stupid cunt!”

The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”

Dodi replies...:

“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”

What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?

Baby in a blender.

Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.

What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?

The HIV test results.

How do stars die?

Normally, an overdose.

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"