Death jokes
What hood do zombies come from?
Dead Ends.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
Why did Ten die?
It was between 9/11.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn!
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is not exploding.
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no balls to do it.
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.