Pest jokes

If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?

Why do bugs hate the internet?

Because they always get caught.

Get it? Inter-net?

Mole

If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?

What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?

A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.

To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.

Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!

Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!

Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!

Poke him on!

What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking you.

What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What do you call an ant with so much power?

A ter-mite.

What sandwich spread makes people itch?

Flea-nut butter.

Why did the roach talk to the man? To die.

What's more annoying than uncles?

Ants.

There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

I hope my teacher will be ok.

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bartender here?"

Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"

What kind of bees eat brains?

Zombees.

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.

Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".