Death jokes
What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Your dick is as flat as your grandma's heart rate.
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."