Death jokes
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
Who were the fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 95 stories in 10 seconds.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
My mom died.
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
-->[]life death[]<--
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*