Death jokes
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
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What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
Why can’t orphans f*ck their mom?
Because they don’t have one.
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
Baby Shark be like, "It's the END," bruh, they dead.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
Philza: PUT THE ORPHAN DOWN TECHNOBLADE- NO DON-
Technoblade: R.I.P orphan
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend.
But do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.