Death jokes
This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.
Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.
Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.
Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!
Can I die?
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To die on the other side.
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
I will pay someone to kill me.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type...
His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!