Death jokes
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.
I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
Stephen Hawking died.
What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!
If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.