Death jokes
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
A friend of mine loves to play Roulette, so I decided to introduce him to Russian Roulette. It blew his mind.
As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...
"It was just a prank bro."
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.