New Death Jokes - Page 19 - Worst Jokes Ever

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.

My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.

Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?

You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.

What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon.

I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.

On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."

So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.