why are orphans funerals so small? they have no loved ones
My ex died in an anchorage accident. She always was a sleeping hooker.
why did the emo kid try high five the tree
so it can hang him
what was Juice WRLD before he was famous?
Answer: alive.
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park .
Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
deku: hey todoroki? shoto: wht? deku: i just found out on the news that your dad froze to death do you know who did it? shoto: :)
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter. Apparently when the helicopter caught fire Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it”
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
my grandpa's last words were before died in vietnam was what fuck did i step on..........
I just killed a family of five.
Now I’m an orphan.
Whats yellow and can't swim A dead goldfish
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died. The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!" He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something. Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
Grandma: young people your age are married by now,why aren’t you?
Me: old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
health commercials be like:
serious side effects can cause:
Nausea, Diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, Cancer, Diabetes, Aids, Clamedia, Lupus, Ebola, polio, Leprosy, Pulmanary edema, heart attack, heart falure, yellow fever, but worst of all DEATH
a man dies and goes to heaven he sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for, he replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. he said that mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincon's once, and George Washington's never. the man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Bidden's is the one keeping the hurricane's to speed
friends are like penguins if you stab them they die 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
