Death

Death jokes

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?

Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”

Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.

Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.

Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?

Doctor: To the morgue.

Man: But I’m not dead yet.

Doctor: Are we there yet?

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.