Death jokes
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
How do stars die?
Normally, an overdose.
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?
I cried when I cut up the onions.