Death

Death jokes

When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!

The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.

I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!

SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”

MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|