Death

Death jokes

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?

Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

I'm gonna jump to my death.

Don't worry. I won't jump far.

Just off this chair here...

When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!

The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.

I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!

SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”

MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”