Death jokes
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?
"When am I gonna see my parents?"
Lmao.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
Congrats to George Floyd on 2 years sobriety.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
The "P" in Batman stands for parents.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because his parents couldn’t help him out!
I think I know why Stephen Hawking died, he pressed Alt+F4.
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
You are so ugly my man died.
Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA
"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.