Death jokes
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
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How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.
Who will be told? Oh wait.
When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."