Death jokes
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They don't know who daddy is.
If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Toaster + Bath = The ultimate bath bomb!
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
Are you with Alex?
Fucking retarded. Go dig a home die, people!