Death jokes
I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
In death, what is the only organ in a woman's body to remain warm?
My dick.
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.
Where did Suzy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
What do skeletons do with their organs?
They organize them!
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They don't know who daddy is.