Day jokes
Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
"Kylin milks me all day like I'm a cow."
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
Share the word lmfao (even tho im 5'1)
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."
The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."
Good Morning, Sleepy-Head!
Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.
Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
You look pretty today... April Fools!