Friday

Friday jokes

Cowboy

    • A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?

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    • Closet

    • Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

    Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

    Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”

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    • 9/11

    • My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

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    • Friday memes

    Bar

    • Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

    The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

    Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

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    • Condom

    • A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."

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    • Black

    • Black comedy name week:

    Malt liquor Monday Tupac Tuesday Watermelon Wednesday Thong Thursday Fried chicken Friday Sukie Sukie Saturday Slap a hoe Sunday

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    • Hell

    • A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.

    Demon: Why you sad?

    Guy: I’m in hell, can’t you see?

    Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.

    Guy: Really? Nice.

    Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.

    Guy: OoOoOo

    Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, you’re already dead ☠️

    Guy: Ok, does that mean I’m a ghost?

    Demon: No, you're not a ghost.

    Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺

    Guy: Ooooooo, I can’t wait 😜

    Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?

    Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?

    Demon: Yup.

    Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?

    Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱

    Demon: Then you won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.

    Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell 🪦🏴‍☠️☠️☠️💀

    Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.

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    • Halloween

    • This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."

    Suicide

    • Allan: What are you doing Saturday night? Museum girl: Committing suicide. Allan: What about Friday night?

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    • White

    • White comedy week:

    Monster Truck Monday

    Trailer Park Tuesday

    White Trash Wednesday

    Take Your Sister Out Thursday

    Fox News Friday

    Storm the Capitol Saturday

    Say You’re Sorry Sunday

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