Day jokes
12/8?
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
Five more days.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.
Good Morning, Sleepy-Head!
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."
The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
Quote Of The Day: Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
Love you guys, and hope today was amazing!
Peace out! <3
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
"Kylin milks me all day like I'm a cow."
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”