Day

Day jokes

Dynamite

    • Willy found some dynamite,

    couldn't understand it quite.

    Curiosity never pays;

    It rained Willy seven days.

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    • Alphabet

    • What are the first four letters of the alphabet?

    Mum: (noticing the child's hair is too long) "You need a haircut."

    Brother: (winning a game on PlayStation) "Yes! Get in!"

    Uncle: (making plans) "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."

    Aunt: (singing a song from the show after overhearing the conversation) "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."

    Next day...

    Student: I know the alphabet.

    Teacher: OK, go on.

    Student: "You need a haircut."

    Teacher: How dare you make comments like this! Do you want to go to the headteacher?

    Student: "Yes! Get in!"

    Teacher: What do you think you're going to be doing?

    Student: "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."

    *In headteacher's office*

    Headteacher: Now, I hear you were very rude to the literacy teacher earlier. What do you have to say for yourself?

    Student: "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."

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    • Israel

    • How Bibi celebrates Valentine's Day:

    “I want to nutinyahu.”

    “I’d blow up a school for you.”

    “Can I be your ‘chosen person?’ 👉👈”

    “I wanna bibi inside yo pp.”

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    • Sexual Assault

    • I told my boyfriend one time when I was drunk that I like being raped. The next day, he comes over and says, "Want to have sex?" I said no. He was arrested two days later.

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    • Lesson

    • Today is Elder Abuse Awareness Day.

    Unfortunately, they're still not giving lessons on how to beat an annoying Alzheimer's patient without leaving a mark.

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    • Visibility

    • I got mad at my white friend today. I, as a darker person, had told them to meet me outside at 3 o'clock. They, being VERY special that day, had said, "AM or PM?"

    Laughing at their question, I said, "Honey, 3 AM, because I'll lose a fight at 3 PM."

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