Playing hide n seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day
i am gay, is that ok. I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day
So, I was walking down the path of my life with bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his. One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?" He, then, looks me straight in the eyes, and say,"Raw!"
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer.
A prostitute can beat my d**k anyday, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
Onna day Imma going to Malta to bigga hotel In the morning I go downa to eat breakfast, I tell the waitress I want to pieces of toast, She brings me only one piece, I tell her I want to piece, She sais: "go to the toilet", I say: "you nounderstand", I wanna piece on my plate, she says: "you better not piss on your plate you son of a bitch", I don't even know the lady and she calls me a son of a bitch
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eata at the bigga restaurant, the waitress brings me a spoon and a knive, but no fork, I tell her i wanted a fork, she tella me everyone wanna fuck, i tell: "you don't understand, I wanna fork on my table", she says: "you better not fuck on the table you son of a bitch", I don't even know the lady and she calls me a son of a bitch
I dont need this shit!
So I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed, call the manager and telling him I wanna a sheet, he tella me go to the toilet, I say: "you don't understand, I wanna sheet on my bed", he says: "you better not shit on my bed you son of a bitch",
I go to the checkout and the man at the desk says 'peace on you', I say 'piss on you too you son of a bitch, Im going back to Italia, ariva derchi'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent
few jokes (sorry if they have already been used.) 1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall. 3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks. 4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans. 5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course! 6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here." 7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler. 8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights
So here’s this funny story and it’s true. So my mom has this friend when this guy was a kid he was on the school bus and this Mexican kid checked him into the isle so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox and he started bleeding then they both get banned from the bus for a few days so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
Hello There have a good day
My dad told me a story today his mom my grandma said if a bird gets in ur house someone will die . That day a humming bird got in his U.P.S truck and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later she died .😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I was eating this girl out the other day and I tasted horse semen... I looked up at the girl and said “that’s how you died grandma”
What is the best day to go to the beach On Sunday
yo mama i so dumb she’ll watch edited peppa pig all day long
What do you call a modern day plague doctor covid doctor
Day 70 without s3x my doctor asked me “are you s3xually active?” I said “why what u tryna do?”
TO ALL THE CHILDREN ON THIS WEBSITE HELLO!!!!! HEY!!!! HOW IS LIFE TREATING YOU? ( BTW I'M A KID TO I'M HAYLEY AND I'M TURNING 13 MY B DAY IS 10/08/2008)
Your a orphan and blind you have cancer you will die in 3 days merry Xmas
seems very long. you wont remember the tel number..... I remember it lile this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Patron is shopping for new bra , lady says your size (69) , Dolly says no way that too too too (222) big, so she goes to doctor , Doc I need something to make my boobs smaller , here take (51) pills for 6 days ( x6) and soo she did . days later she ran back to doc, jesus Christ doctor look what happened Im BOOBLESS. 55378008 upside down.
It took Jesus 3 days to respond
Worst lag ever
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried totouch it that night, next day I went to court.
Three nuns up to Mother Teresa and say Mother Teresa we would not like to be eaten anymore Mother Teresa says okay but first you have to do something Unholy so they a leave and come back 3 days later the first one the first one says Mother Teresa I did something Unholy I took a little kids bike Mother Teresa says okay who drink from the holy water and you are free to go II unlocks upset I did it something worse than her I slept with a married man the last nun walks up and says I did something worse than all of them Mother Teresa says oh god oh gosh are there in the third nut and says I peed in the holy water
