Dark Humor
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
Boss: Have a good day.
Me: *goes home*
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That I will never get old.
An old man saw the TikTok trend of people throwing it back. The old man wanted to do it with his wife. The man set up everything needed and did the video. He threw it back first, then his wife, but instead of an old lady, it was ashes.
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
Speed.
What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.