Dark Humor

How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

She had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Susie.

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

The "W" in Africa stands for water.

The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.

My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.

Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!

You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

I teach orphans.

But the problem is I can't give them homework.

What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."

My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.

Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.

Son: Dad, what's dark humor?

Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?

Son: No, I'm blind.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Why did the orphan go to church?

It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Suicide.

Suicide who?

Suicide you.

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.