Dark Humor
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
What’s the difference between kids and drugs?
I don’t hide drugs in my basement.
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
What does a baby in a blender look like? I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What's harder than steel?
Michel Jackson in an orphanage.
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
What do you call a garage that is gay?
A gyarge.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
What's a school shooter's favorite anime?
Assassination Classroom.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
What do you call a black person?
Dark humor.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.