Dad jokes
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.
Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
I saw your forehead and realized your mom and dad's foreheads were as big as yours. Also, you're gay.
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Your dad has a huge PP.
What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?
I want them both in my mouth!