Dad jokes

"Dad, did you get a haircut?"

"No, I got them all cut!"

What’s worse than banging your sister?

Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.

You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.

I love ❤️ dogs.

What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.

My dad is like a unicorn.

He's never here. :c

The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.

I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.

The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”

My dad came out of my step-sister's room as I came out of my step-mum's room.

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

How do I make my dick disappear?

I put it in your dad.

Why do orphans like fucking other dads?

Because they get to have a daddy.

An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.

Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.

Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.