Dad Jokes

I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast,

The orphanage worker just said “ don’t be silly”

What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad? The pizza guy shows up when you call him.

my dad came out of my step sister's room as I came out of my step mum's room

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not your dad.

The kids dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back

Life is better without my dad annoying me(him smacking me,screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more

Fat jokes and mom jokes😂

1 So fat when she sat on the toilet she said a b c d e f g get your fat ass off me.

2 So fat your dad her were in bed and tried to kiss he’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.

3 Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini they all started yelling Godzilla Godzilla.

4 your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping she broke the bridge!

5 bill was so fat when he stepped in the scale it said to be continued.

6 yo mamma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad Wife: No, you’re not

I love ❤️ dogs

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11 My dad died to it, he was a great piolet

so dad is teaching his 8 year old son about the planets and said this is Uranus then the 5 year old son says where is my anus

It was raining sadly all day my wife my 2 daughters and me stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died

Wife:😭😭😭I wish this never happened

Mia our first daughter: momy it’s ok I love whenever I see you🥰🥰

Abby our second daughter: I love u all only if you guys die I won’t but I love you when ur alive 😉😏

Me husband: what kind of nonsense was that you love us when we’re alive but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓

Everyone except abby: abby this is serious mommy’s mother and father died. says Mia: yes your mom is sadly down right now you made her more sad😡🤬.says dad:sniffs* abby I had made a discussion I will take to an orphanage I am sorry 😣 when I amd better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back.says mom:

This was not a joke I just did this for Love 💕

I saw ur forehead and realised ur mom and dads forehead were as big as urs also ur gay

my dad was in 9/11 thats rude and he was a great pilot

tell an orphan ur mom but then remember he doesn't have one

Yo momma so dumb when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car? Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job" Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad), Dad, Ewww, your dick tastes like shite!" Dad: Oh that's right, I lent your brother the car