Dad jokes
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
I love ❤️ dogs.
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.
Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
Have y'all ever heard of dad jokes? Y'all hairline is funnier than those.
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.
Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?