Dad jokes
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
Your dad has a huge PP.
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
Have y'all ever heard of dad jokes? Y'all hairline is funnier than those.
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?
I want them both in my mouth!
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?