Dad jokes

"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."

The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."

Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...

My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?

An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.

Your hairline is as nonexistent as your dad.

What do you say to the orphan?

"Shut up, get a mom and dad!"

You were born out of your dad.

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

My dad was one hell of a pilot.

Grandpa was a hell of a planner.

Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.

When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.

That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.

Me.

You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.

Your dad is gone.

Why can't two Chinese make a white baby?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

Ur dad is gay!

Omg! I didn't mean that. Please don't tell ur mom.

I'm so so so sry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!