Dad jokes

When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.

That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.

I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

You were born out of your dad.

Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.

Me.

You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

My dad was one hell of a pilot.

Grandpa was a hell of a planner.

Your dad is gone.

Why can't two Chinese make a white baby?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?

Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?

12 year old me: Yeah!

Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?

Me: What?

What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.

Stop making jokes about 9/11, my dad died in 9/11.

BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA

ALAKBAR

My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...

How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.

What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!

Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!

Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?