Dad jokes

What does PEMDAS stand for?

Penis enters my dad and sister.

I will always remember my dad's last words...

Oh wait, I never knew them.

What do you call a boy in your mom?

Your dad.

Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?

Your dad is gone.

Why can't two Chinese make a white baby?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.

Me.

You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.

That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.

Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.

Your hairline is as nonexistent as your dad.

I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."

My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.

You were born out of your dad.

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?

My dad hates them both!

Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!

Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?

Evan, me and your mom are done with you.