"Dad, what is 69?" asks son.
Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."
Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).
A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”
My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
The only joke my dad ever made was me
what the dif between u and my dad u come home
What show do orphans hate? American Dad
my dad died in 911... he was the best pilot I know
Why did the Orphan cross the road? To find they way store to see they dad
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
Whats the difference between your dad and grocery shopping he didn't come back with the milk
At what point does a joke become a dad joke? When it disappears and never returns home
My dad died in 9/11 ,he was the best pilot I have ever seen though.
