Dad jokes
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.
Why can’t an orphan make a joke?
Dad jokes.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.
Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?
They always see a stepdad and stepsis.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"
"Baking a cake."
The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.
"Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)