Dad jokes
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
Memes
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
His gay ass dad.
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.