My dad died in 9/11 ,he was the best pilot I have ever seen though.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!
Your dad must be a mailman.
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
