Cut jokes
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
What do 2 emo kids say to each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
*Slaps wrist*
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.
Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."
Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"
Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?
Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."