Crime jokes
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
Why was the belt placed under arrest?
For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
When is a rape victim right?
When she admits she lied.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
When I was very young...
My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.
They are rapists now.
Rape humor is not funny. Like if you agree.
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
She said no, so I raped her.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.