Crime jokes
What day is international terrorist day?
September 11th, 2001.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
Why do orphans play GTA5 so much?
So they could be wanted.
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
If she refuses to suck and threatens to bite, just knock her teeth out. Call it the “Bloody Gummer”.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs. Predator.
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
It's the 1940s.
The chink was counting his shillings. The chink was bitching. His wife got raped in Nanking. The chink counts his shillings.
The chink gets sook chinged!
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute only has one crack, and has to wash it and sell it again.