Crime jokes
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Jasper doesn't like little girls and Bin Laden.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
You know what's so horrible about this website?
When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.
Dont get mad when i post it on Average_Ohion cuz this is my alt im Average_Ohion
What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?
Not wanted.
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier? “Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
He asked for a shot of beer?
He got shot and killed.
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!