Crime jokes
Did you hear about the pervert who couldn't decide whether he was into incest or necrophilia?
He killed his mom and then fucked her.
I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store; the tea bag section had been ransacked.
Luckily they found the thief, Pionel Pessi, with boxes of his favourite tea, Penaltea. Shame on you, Pessi!
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
Yo mama is soooooo fat that she was arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack!
Ever heard of rape jokes?
No?
Well, I'll MAKE you hear 'em!
Guys, you know any best rape roleplay? (I'm a guy, btw.)
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
Jeffrey Epstein was a horrible person, but at least he killed Jeffrey Epstein.
Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.
Jeffery Epstein killed Hitler.
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.
Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Old man Jeffrey touches the youth.
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?