Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
Crime Jokes
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
@shelby denver is a massive nonce.
How many babies does it take to paint a room red?
Depends how hard you throw 'em.
I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.
Why am I in jail?
All I did was cause 9/11.
I got hired by an orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
Roses are red, violets are blue, give me free OnlyFans so I don't touch the youth.
This account is run by a peadophile.
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.
