Crime jokes
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What did the robber say to the clock? Hands up!
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.
Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?
Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
Me: I just shot an orphan.
Mate: You can’t do that!
Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Q: What do Epstein and Dahmer have in common?
A: They both like to eat kids in and out.
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
"Hee hee touch my pp."
One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."
I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.