Carpet Jokes

i had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet....

for 20 seconds...

and only once.... :(

What do you call a Mexican under a carpet - underlay underlay.

i had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet.. but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?

He wanted to see a floor show.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. Its not dead, just afraid to move.

one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"

*long pause*

"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"

"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."

then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"

Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?

Cuz it's a car-PET.

floor on the road

I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like 'ankle biters', 'rug rats' and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.

I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, 'carpet muncher' doesn't mean what I thought it does.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch you have to give her money first

My wife said why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely

Thank fully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up emily in the bottom of the ocean