Crime jokes
How do you turn rape into no rape? Steal her bank details for money transfer.
What do you say if you are raped once but feel raped twice?
"I was raped raped."
What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?
They're both gay and use knives.
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
Why do kids want to become cops?
They want to find the guy who touched them.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
Carly: Hey do [you] want to have sex? [Age] (43)
Zina: No! [Age] (10)
Carly: Good cause I can make you do it anyway! [Age] (43)
What do you spot in this place that [is] gay!
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
What do kidnappers play?
Roblox.
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?
"I CAN'T BREATHE!"
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.