Crime jokes
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
Pedophiles smell good.
90,900,00,1090,279402% of girls are raped. 67% of women are raped. So I guess girls are sexier than women! Who agrees? Please comment: Good or Bad.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Hardest part about being a paedophile?
Fitting in.
Why did your mum touch me? Because she was a pedo.
There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?
Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison? I feel like a kid again.
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
I stole one's balls.