Crime jokes
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
I'm in the alagba association. Call 666-666-666 to join the gang. It's free and free kills duidui.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.
Ok, not really racist but still funny.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?
A baby in the microwave.
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.