Crime jokes
Q: What do Epstein and Dahmer have in common?
A: They both like to eat kids in and out.
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"
The Son: "Because milk is important."
The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"
The Boy: "Who?"
The Man: "Your mom?"
The Boy: "I don't have a mom."
The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."
The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.
POV: It's a rapists' groupchat, not a joke section. And it's SAD.
The ice cream man tried to murder me today.
What's the POINT in stabbing people?
HAHAHA
I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.
Pedophiles smell good.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
Rapist: "Get into the fucking van!"
Kid: "mi gniog ot tell ym momy"
Rapist: "Fine" (Grabs a white kid instead)
I like my women like I like my wine.
Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.
Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂
There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?
Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
Why did the boy shoot the clock?
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!
I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.