Crime jokes
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
Why am I in jail?
All I did was cause 9/11.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
I got hired by an orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted.
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
Memes
What is Armin Meiwes' ideal date? Dinner.
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
How did the guy rob the water park?
He used a water gun!
LOL 💦🔫💧🌊
What does a terrorist get for Christmas?
A C4.
A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
This account is run by a peadophile.
Roses are red, violets are blue, give me free OnlyFans so I don't touch the youth.
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"