Crime jokes
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
What's the difference between Axne and a priest??
One waits till you're 13 to come on your face.
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
I killed a man, but it was April Fools'!
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
Mohamed Atta would probably be pretty mad at these posts.
Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.
His husband said, "What's your question?"
Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"
His husband said "Yes?"
Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
He wanted to be wanted! 😢😂
Joke: CookVR
Cruel and unusual punishment.
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
Why do orphans love GTA?
Because they are actually wanted!
Hit'em with the Ted Bundy.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.
Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.