Crime jokes
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
You know what's so horrible about this website?
When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.
Why do kids want to become cops?
They want to find the guy who touched them.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
Memes
What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?
Not wanted.
How do you turn rape into no rape? Steal her bank details for money transfer.
What do you say if you are raped once but feel raped twice?
"I was raped raped."
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?
They're both gay and use knives.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
Carly: Hey do [you] want to have sex? [Age] (43)
Zina: No! [Age] (10)
Carly: Good cause I can make you do it anyway! [Age] (43)
What do you spot in this place that [is] gay!
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
Robber: This is a robbery, bitch!
Gunsalesman: No u
What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?
"I CAN'T BREATHE!"