Crime jokes
Today my idiot brother screamed, "Ahhhhh, I'm dead!" But it wasn't really, so I decided to make it a reality until my sister came...
AND HELPED ME! - for once, but then two minutes later my mom showed up. We killed him right in front of her, and she screamed! "Donuts and pizza for you and more if you go to Mrs. Roberts' house and say hi and bye to Daddy!!!!!" And she hands us both a sharp tool, and I say, "What about Tommy??!!! Aren't you MAD!!!!!!!" Then she replied, "Who's THAT!!??? Coz he ain't mine. His name is Tommy, Tommy Roberts."
So then me and my sister visit Mrs. Roberts, and she said, "Oh, this isn't anything important. Go home!" So then my sister and I say hi! and do a countdown. After that my Nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR, MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL! đđđ But then the police question us where daddy was, so then Mom said....................... oh he's moved on! So then the police officer was like, "Ahem, ma'm where!" SO THEN I BELLOWED.......................... UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit eitherđ§ i will ask my neibour nessy she'll obviously say YES or ill........................................
ok like for part twoâșâșâș
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Rape
Rape who?
I go rape you!
Hahaahahahaha Please comment: Bad or good!
Greg fucking steals toes!
How did I kill Georgee?
I snatched her boat! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!
Who wants to see me rape a toddler?
Memes
Why did the moron throw his clock out the window?
The clocks reminded him of Richard Clock, the convict who knife-raped his wife.
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Theyâre draining the economy doooown!
Theyâve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jackâs seed.
Theyâve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
Theyâre spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
Weâve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a âfewâ more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
Weâre gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
Theyâve banked off buying boooze!
Theyâll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folkâll loseee.
Weâre gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kidsâre in the business tooo!
Theyâre draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
Weâve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now theyâre a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, weâre now an oligarchy!
WEâLL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
Knock, knock.
(Whoâs there?)
Itâs the police, maâam, your son got hit by a drunken driver. Heâs dead.
You know what's so horrible about this website?
When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.
What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?
Not wanted.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.
How do you turn rape into no rape? Steal her bank details for money transfer.
What do you say if you are raped once but feel raped twice?
"I was raped raped."
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?
They're both gay and use knives.
Why do kids want to become cops?
They want to find the guy who touched them.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.