Crime jokes

Mosely in a white van.

Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window?

It reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.

Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.

Dani: Hey, do you like rapists?

Tess: No!

Dani: Oh, well I'm a rapist!

Tess: Oh!

What do you call a fat man with a rape whistle? Hogan!

I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍

What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.

What's the difference between a mole and a priest?

One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.

What do you call a Chinese car thief?

Tommy Tookamota.

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.

When do you go at stop and stop when done?

I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.

What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?

You will have even more birthday parties to go to.

Why did the Mafia cross the road?

Forget about it...

I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The guard charged me with... mer-der.

Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?

He was told to high-jack it.

You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.

The only thing shittier than rapeboats rhymes are his jokes.

When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.

Why does rapboat like underage girls? Cos grown ass girls are too clever for him.

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.