Crime jokes
Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
Davin is a pedo.
I'm in the alagba association. Call 666-666-666 to join the gang. It's free and free kills duidui.
What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
I gotta do terrorist :)
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
Why is a white prison inmate scarier than a black inmate?
The white guy did it!
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
Greg is a pedo.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know a pedophile,
And he says he knows you.
Mosely in a white van.
Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window?
It reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.
Dani: Hey, do you like rapists?
Tess: No!
Dani: Oh, well I'm a rapist!
Tess: Oh!
Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.