Crime jokes
@shelby denver is a massive nonce.
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
Paedophiles are f***ing immature assholes.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
How many babies does it take to paint a room red?
Depends how hard you throw 'em.
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
This account is run by a peadophile.
Roses are red, violets are blue, give me free OnlyFans so I don't touch the youth.
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
I got hired by an orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.