Crime jokes
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"
Memes
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
How did the villagers identify the masked rapist?
He was the only one in the village who believed the victim.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
"Rape is funny until it's your little sister or daughter getting raped."
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
Yo mama so stupid, she told the police a kid raped her.