Crime jokes
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
My life #freemymanrkelly
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?
White Vans.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
Child predators: "You're so six-y."
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
Me: I just shot an orphan.
Mate: You can’t do that!
Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.