Crime jokes
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
What do you call a terrorist that can fly?
A dart.
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
What kind of file turns a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A pedophile.
Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!
How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause it's still dark in my basement.
Rape victims suck, literally.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
My teacher is a rapist.
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
What did the rape victim give to her rapist?
Head.
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.