Crime jokes
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.
And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."
The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."