Crime jokes
What do you call a terrorist that can fly?
A dart.
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
What kind of file turns a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A pedophile.
Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
My teacher is a rapist.
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
What did the rape victim give to her rapist?
Head.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."