Crime jokes
How come none of my friends have dungeons? Oddly enough, they all have "rape dungeons."
My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.
What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?
Ask him to tell a rape joke.
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
What do you call a man with no legs?
Hangman.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.
I just reached 10 million pounds in Euro Truck Simulator, but it's not even close to what Rakhmat Akilov achieved.
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.