Q. What do rape victims miss?
A. Part of their brain.
Crime Jokes
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
It is not funny about kidnapping.
"Fuck off for I killed him, bum bum."
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!
Got kidnapped in Iran. Luckily, I ran.
