What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
Nonce Jokes
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.
No such thing as peados.... it’s all nonce-sense!
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
Site nearly as dead as my trim.
NONCE
@shelby denver is a massive nonce.
My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.
Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.
What do you call a once that's an insect?
A creepy crawly.
