The 15+ Best Nonce Jokes

What do Evil Kinevil and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.

whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

ones made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.

Fuck me right in the balls u dirty cow

What's a paedophiles favourite footwear?

White Vans

Whats worse than having ants in your pants?

Uncles.

What does mcdonalds and Catholic priest have in common

They both put their meat in 10 year old buns

What is a nonces favourite toy….? You

No such thing as peados.... it’s all nonce-sense!

There was a orphan once and someone knocks on his door and said "hello son come and hug me" but the orphan says "excuse me who are you?" and the guy says "you dont remember me im your dad" and then the orphan says "fine then if your really my dad, come inside and let me asked you some questions" and the man says "ok then but i am really your dad" then the orphan asked some questions to the man and the man gets some of them right so the orphan believes that the man is his dad and then the orphan says "you really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house and the orphan has a room mate and the dad and the orpahn finally get to then bedroom and then the dad knocks out the orphan and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan / son and the room mate hears weird noises in the orphans / sons room and he walks in and see them having seggs and the room mate records it but then kicks out the dad out f the house and then the room mate shares the video to the orphans school chat and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce and everybody at the orphans school call him gay but he really isnt but since he was mad and disgusted he pulled a AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.

Btw this is a joke so dont take it seriously.