Crime jokes

What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.

What is the difference between Batman and a black man?

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.

All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.

7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.

I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.

Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?

Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.

A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."

The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"

Banker: I have the right to take your money!

Me: Check my name.

Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?

Banker: *realizes*

Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.

What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?

He raped her.

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

What's the difference between drugs and kids?

I don't sell drugs.

All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.

I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.

My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.

Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!

A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Jared from Subway touches the youth.

These murder jokes are just KILLING me!

What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?

"Meals on Wheels."