Crime jokes

In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

What’s red and white and black all over?

A dead white man at night time!

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?

One's wanted.

Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?

Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?

A. They drive slow through school zones.

What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?

A donation team.

Why did the ducky get arrested?

He got caught selling quack.

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.

Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!

What's orphans favorite game to play?

GTA5 because they want to be wanted!

Why do orphans play GTA?

Because they want to be wanted.

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!