Crime jokes

I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.

Why were the terrorists upset on 9/11? bcz 1 of the 4 missed its target.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"

Your hairline is so messed up, it made Jeffrey Dahmer cry.

There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

What's the good thing about child perverts?

They drive slow in a school zone.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.

How dairy!

I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

No one goes in there without my permission!

Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?

Rapey Santa.

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.

School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.

In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

What’s red and white and black all over?

A dead white man at night time!

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?

One's wanted.

Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?