Crime jokes
Why were the terrorists upset on 9/11? bcz 1 of the 4 missed its target.
I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.
A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Your hairline is so messed up, it made Jeffrey Dahmer cry.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
Why did an orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?
A. They drive slow through school zones.
What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?
One's wanted.
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."