What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
Crime Jokes
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!
I killed a man in '94.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
Robyn Olive in 10.
Someone is adding dirt to my garden!
The plot thickens!
I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old, in the basement, and locked up.
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a registered six offender.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his rap sheet!
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF file.
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?
