Crime jokes
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
There is a dark alley. Who do you call?
Batman.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Dear Orphans,
I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.