Crime jokes
I crashed into those motherfuckers! ๐๐๐
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
What has eight legs and doesnโt rape children?
The Jackson 4.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. ไปๅฆ็
The first guy: What's ไปๅฆ็?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose ไปๅฆ็.
The Chinese: Ok, ไปๅฆ็ to the death!
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now youโll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
What do rapists like to suck?
The life out of their victim.
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."
What's black, white, and red all over?
Lossvagus school shooting.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.