Crime jokes
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
Why couldn’t the booty stay calm?
Because it was on crack.
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
Why is 4/20 such an epic date?
Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)
It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!
Got kidnapped in Iran. Luckily, I ran.
You look like Megamind, drug dealer.
I killed a homeless dude, now he's at funeral home 😭💔
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.
"Fuck off for I killed him, bum bum."
It is not funny about kidnapping.
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?