Crime jokes
What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
Why couldn’t the booty stay calm?
Because it was on crack.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.