Crime jokes
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
Why couldn’t the booty stay calm?
Because it was on crack.
What is the favorite city of the pedophile icon? Paris.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
You look like Megamind, drug dealer.