Crime jokes
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
I cummed on the alley.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
What's the best part of a terrorist on Fourth of July?
The finale.
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
What's black and white and red all over?
A massacre at a funeral.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
Why do pedophiles never cum first?
Because they like to cum in a little behind.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."