Crime jokes
Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.