Crime jokes
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Sniffing cocaine?
YES SIRRR!
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.
Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?
Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
Hello, anybody, I've just shot somebody. I did it on purpose.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!
I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
There is a dark alley. Who do you call?
Batman.
Jasper doesn't like little girls and Bin Laden.
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.