What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.
Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?
They di2s drying plans.
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
What's the difference between Batman and Robin?
Batman can go to the store without robbin'.
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.
His husband said, "What's your question?"
Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"
His husband said "Yes?"
Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"
Hit'em with the Ted Bundy.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
Joke: CookVR
Man in boxers leads policeman on brief chase.
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
