Crime jokes

It’s too bad G won’t be able to follow in Kobe’s footsteps and rape a hotel employee but not serve one minute in jail.

Why can't George Floyd breathe? He had a knee on his neck, stupid.

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?

They fight and... You know the rest.

What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?

Black people don't shoot up schools.

(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.

(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.

Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.

Why do I call my priest daddy?

Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.

My girlfriend's pregnant. I'm 13. She was raped.

Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?

Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.

Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.

And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.

What did the rape victim give to her rapist?

Head.

The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?

My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.

Two pedophiles are on a beach.

One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"

Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡

Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.

Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.

Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?

Because he sexually kids 😂