Crime jokes

What do you call a terrorist that can fly?

A dart.

What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.

What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.

Madeline Mcannot find her.

I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.

What would you like as your last meal?

Fried chicken. Extra crispy.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa?

Sniffing cocaine?

YES SIRRR!

What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?

It becomes a flee market.

Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

What do you call a low budget terrorist attack?

7/11

What's black, gold, and red all over?

Tupac in Vegas.

Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!

I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.

I found a lot of matches.

Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?

All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.

What is fraud supposed to taste like?

Bananas and Rice.

The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.

Orphan: I want to be like Batman.

Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.