Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
Crime Jokes
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
A woman exclaims that she was robbed. She was reading in the dark, candles were next to her. She says the thief opens her cabin of jewelry and leaves and enters from the window. He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her. She turns the lights on and sees what happened.
The candle wax was going down straight. A policeman closes the window and cabin then tells her she's lying just for the cash reward. Why?
Because if the drift of wind came in, the candle wax would be dripping to the side, not straight!
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
What’s the worst part of being a pedophile?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What kind of file turns a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A pedophile.
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause it's still dark in my basement.
What do you call a terrorist that can fly?
A dart.
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
My teacher is a rapist.
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
