Crime jokes
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣
It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.
Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
Dear Orphans,
I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.