Crime jokes
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Dear Orphans,
I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)