Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents. Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honour. Judge: But why? Accused: Because I’m an orphan. 🥱🫤
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said “did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied “do you mean Nein millimeter?”
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?
Little kids leave preschool.
I stole one's balls
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes
My life is meaningless that i made a crime just to get shot 0-0 This is not a joke this is just about death...
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
i would rather be drugged and robbed by cardi b than listen to her fucking music
If you kill someone, that's murder. If you kill a family member, that's still murder. If you kill a child, that's "child abuse"
When babies kick their mother it'd okay but when I do it, it's a crime...
Why can orphans get away with robing the bank
Because no one wants him
I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!
When a woman decides to abort it is called a decision but when I run my truck into a playground of kids it is called murder
I had sex with twins, well I think it was twins all my rage victims look alike
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
