A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.
Why did the skeleton go to jail? Because he was bad to the bone!
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives. condoms 99 percent effective birth controll 99 percent effective ect just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time ( only cost 20 years in jail ;)
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes , I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
Why did the vegetable go to jail? He kaled a man and stole a 9 carrot gold bar.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
What's the smartest crime? 3rd degree murder.
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim? You are a consequence of rape
I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!
A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.
