Crime jokes
This account is run by a peadophile.
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
Alvin and the Chipmunks commit war crimes.
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
Why was the belt placed under arrest?
For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
Why don’t pedophiles win races?
They like to come in a little behind.
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to feel wanted.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.