Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Listen up, buttercup. This joke is dark, like your future. "Five stars" in GTA means the cops are after you, right? And "not wanted" is a sad play on words because orphans... well, they don't have parents. You probably don't have parents either considering how dumb you are, but you're not an orphan since your parents just abandoned you at birth.
Noob
Nice grammar